For your information, I'm doing fantastically! :)
I don't have a ton of time today cause we spent most of our day doing service for an older lady, and I will always remember running around her yard picking wild strawberries and eating them. :) So yummy! Kristine Jacobsen was the name of lady... she's soo funny :) Also I have to start planning a 7 hour meeting that me and elder Jones will be travelling with, on top of putting together something for our Mission Leadership Council tommorrow. So... yeah. ANd on top of that, I have to, must, must must keep our area going strong. I will not let it die just because we have so much to do... :)
K well I have like no time, and there is a few things I really just want to dive into!
First of all I spen a lot of monday with Elder Hill contacting, and he is frustrated with the missionaries up there and wanted help to know what to do. I had some tips but not all the answers, but I think the thing that struck home the most for me was when he said they were basically breaking rules and using my name as the excuse because of things that they had seen me do in the past.
I wish I could describe how this feels.... It feels terrible. Awful. Despicable. It makes you realize that despite all the repentance in the world you want to do, you can't go back and change what happened. Its impossible. Usually I don't think I see as much the bad effects of things that I do, but in this case I did, and these things stick out like a sore thumb, and compeltely degrade me and my whole role in life which is to be a good example. an example of someone who is actually willing to just go ahead and do the rigth thing. I was needless to say very stressed about it.
BUt I learned a lot from the experieence. I was able to talk to the missionaries there afterwords which can help a little bit, but it also helped me realize that sometimes, you just have to have faith that God will help you to work everything else out. and thats easier said than done. Jon axel our investigator this week, when I asked him if he believes God forgives sins, he answered with uncertainty. .. that would be so hard. To believe that God was not willing to forgive. It would in the words of Paul, make someone the most miserable. To have completely clear view of Heaven and a Hope of its existence, and have no faith in the Atonement that is supposed to get us there. I think I take for granted the faith in Christ, and teh atonement and especially about forgivesness that I have. THat I truly believe in a merciful God is a wonderful thing :) In conjuctino with that I had an absolutely wonderful experience yesterday. I think the worst thing would be to go home after your missoin and believe that you hadn't fulfilled your mission. President talks about that spiritual confirmation that you can get that you know you have done what you need to... In a way I got one for me. little early, but I'll take it. :)
AHHH NO more zone conferences... ever! patly yay! and partly..... oh no.... THis last friday I gave what we call in our mission as the BURNIMONY. This is symbolic for a dying missionaries final testimony. its always weird to watch missionaries give their burnimonies... and. well die. Of the million things I could have said I just talked about not giving up. :) And more of what that actually means. It was sooo weird to watch Elder Badger, and Elder WEaver, and then me get up right after another. ... strange. Well glad thats over. At least I ddin't stress out about it as much as they did. They were both way stressed about it :)
There were some other cool things that happened this week, but that was the gist of it. WE went on a walk with John axerl and the allens, and that was way fun. WE had an atheist offer to let us in if we'd just listen to him rant for an hour... nei takk bro. I wasn't feelin it that day unfortunately :) I've come to the conclusion that we cant soften peoples hearts by arguing with them.... why did it take me so long to figure that out? Also I love the rain, and eldeer jones hates it. I think thats funny :)
ANyways. Yup That first weekend woudl work great mom :) It'd be nice to get it over with anyways when you know the whole 2 years is still fresh on my mind. jk. its gonna be fresh for a good while. :)
You'll be happy to know I only broke my pinky toe in the fall to the floor in amazment :) So i can still walk alright :) I love you so much mom :) It literally feels like june just started.... THis is gonezo. I feel my whole life is just going to start flying away from me... not cool :)